


Can't have this city

by SpacemanSpiffy



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, i guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 10:49:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12680379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpacemanSpiffy/pseuds/SpacemanSpiffy
Summary: In the Early days of the Buerau of Balance, the Director receives some terrible news.(Aka: Lucretia hears about what happens in Raven's Roost and feels guilty)****Spoilers for pretty much the entire show***





	Can't have this city

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a scene I had in my head and wanted to work through. Idk if I'm satisfied with it, and maybe someday Ill revise it. But for now, here it is. Thanks for reading.

If the Bureau members thought it was the odd that the Director had a portrait of herself in her office, or that she seemed to spend long hours a day staring at it, no one mentioned it. She stood there now, gazing upon the portrait which meant so much to her. When she heard the footsteps of her coworker, she hastily replaced the magic that usually covered the portrait, but didn’t turn around. 

Captain Captain Bane, (at that point in time, just Lieutenant Captain Bane) approached the woman. “Any news?” she asked him, still lost in thought. He replied in his signature gruff voice, “some minor fighting down near Goldcliff again, we think maybe the belt resurfaced, but we need more info. There’s been some pretty heavy destruction at Raven’s Roost, but we think it was unrelated-” 

The Director, previously lost in thought, suddenly snapped to attention. It couldn’t be. Not there. 

“Stop. Where did you say again?” She said, never breaking her composure. 

It couldn’t have been. She had specifically chosen that place to be safe. It was her job to _keep them safe._

Raven’s Roost. It’s a pretty big craftsman town. They’ve been having a revolt against some governor guy-”

“I know what Raven’s Roof is,” she snapped, “What was destroyed?”

“It took some pretty major bombing, looks like the entire Craftsman Corridor collapsed. 

_No._

“Get out of my office.”

Bane left quickly. He looked up to his boss and friend, but knew better than to question her during times like this. Lucretia squeezed her eyes shut as his footsteps faded. 

Not there. Not him. She was responsible for them. Wasn’t all this so they could have a better life? But now he was-

Maybe he survived. It’s possible, isn't it? He could have been out for groceries, or on a walk, or... or any number of things. 

“I should have done something” she thought, rubbing her hands over her face. They had known about Kalen, of course. At first they thought the Governor had found a relic, but quickly found that he just happened to be the worst kind of asshole. So, despite him becoming a growing threat to the town, they moved on. 

Better stay away, not get involved.

 _I should have done something_

She couldn’t risk him recognizing her, couldn’t risk the memories resurging. 

_It’s my responsibility._

His life was his own now. That was the choice she had made. 

_It’s my fault._

She had gone to the wedding, of course. She had allowed herself that one indulgence at least. He looked so happy, there in the arms of his lover, his soulmate. She was happy too, and oh so proud. 

Would she have felt it? She wondered. During those hundred years, they all had grown close that when it happened, well, sometimes they just knew. The Director wondered if those bonds even existed anymore. 

She wheeled around suddenly. Her legs moved her to the hanger against her will. She wasn’t thinking clearly, she wasn’t being logical, but some part of her needed to know. 

She coughed as her nose filled with smoke, the building still smoldering even though the bombs dropped days ago. Sparks pricking at her eyes, she began to search through the rubble. What she was looking for, she didn’t know, but she clawed at the twisted metal desperately for anything, anything. Confirmation of his death would be better than not knowing. Finally, she turned over a charred piece of wood. She almost tossed it aside, but something caught her eye. Chiseled into the wood with great care were the words “Hammer and Tongs” in broad, strong strokes. And beneath it, in smaller script, “Steven Waxman and apprentice Magnus Burnsides” 

When you live and die with someone for so long, you begin to recognize their handywork. 

Sometimes she wished she could erase her own memories. It was so bitterly easy. All she had to do was toss a few things into the proverbial fires, and then it would all be over. Maybe she could buy a small cottage, live the rest of her days painting in peace. There would be a brief moment of panic when the Hunger came, of course, but after that would be peace again. 

But then who would remember? Who would remember Taako and Lup’s unbreakable bond? Who would remember Barry, and how greatly he loved? Who would remember that Davenport was once the greatest captain in the entire universe? Who would remember Merle selflessly sacrificing himself, dying over and over for their sakes? Who would remember how Magnus was never afraid to do what was right, never afraid to fight for what he believed in? Who would remember _them?_

That was a burden she would have to bear herself. 

_Did she make the wrong choice?_

Lucretia wiped her eyes hastily and gingerly wrapped the piece of wood in her scarf. Slowly, she stood against the crushing guilt and walked back to the glass sphere she had taken planetside. 

“Find the relics,” she thought to herself. 

“Get them back.”  
“Break the bonds.”

She strode forward, reciting the words like a mantra. 

“Make it all mean something” 

Each step she took crushed the rubble, sending echoing footsteps over the abandoned, burning town.

“Make them not have died for nothing.” 

Her eyes grew steely behind her glasses, the fires reflecting against the lenses.

_“Fix this.”_

The Director stepped back inside her pod and called it back to the moon. It was time to get to work.


End file.
